• Doctor: Okay I'm putting you on a new medication
  • Me: I'm afraid I'll gain weight…
  • Doctor: Don't worry! This drug is weight neutral!
  • Me *Gains 8,000 pounds*
posted 1 day ago
with 3 notes








modestmgmtofficial:

my sister’s view on one direction’s fashion sense:

  • louis: “smoked weed once and won’t let anyone forget it”
  • zayn: “posh college student ft. laid back beyonce”
  • harry: “hippie mom that’s a little too happy about being pregnant”
  • niall: “frat boy… might’ve sucked some dick but no one judges him”
  • liam: “he looks like he’s about to get into a rap battle”
posted 1 day ago
with 17674 notes








cockchomp:

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

posted 1 day ago
with 307988 notes








nouistella:

you don’t really even have to use your imagination for this one

image

posted 1 day ago
with 11286 notes








jaclcfrost:

assrah:

jaclcfrost:

my songs have vague suspicions about what you did in the dark

let’s precariously light these objects up

i am moderately aflame

posted 2 days ago
with 66107 notes








gagzayn:

harry spitting water and he was literally on the ground! 08/29/14

posted 2 days ago
with 9292 notes








Chicago 29.08

posted 2 days ago
with 14123 notes








pixiree:

jirachi:

huckleberry on her first walk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"hmm. that’s an awfully bright circle in the sky there. hm."

posted 2 days ago
with 75489 notes








He was beautiful like a song. The kind of song you play over and over and never get sick of hearing. 
posted 2 days ago
with 1695 notes








burgrs:

how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u

posted 2 days ago
with 295723 notes








This is a waking nightmare

posted 3 days ago








My goal for school this year

ashtonhasmyheart:

To be the hot mysterious punk rock girl that sits alone in every class that guys are too scared to talk to but can’t stop looking at

posted 3 days ago
with 4561 notes








Every time I shut my eyes I panic and my heart races all the while I feel like I can’t move or breath

posted 3 days ago








posted 3 days ago
with 909 notes








depressionandhiphop:

Help.

posted 3 days ago
with 240 notes